I actually said that when my family was singing happy birthday to me the other night. We had our family celebration a week or so late because I was in Utah on my actual birthday, cleaning the apartment and preparing to move out. *sigh* I wish I was there now. Anyway, my siblings gave me some very nice gifts. I can't speak for Grant yet though because he gave me an extremely difficult math puzzle I have to solve before I can find out what it is. I haven't finished yet...anyway, I am looking forward to watching three new movies with my friends in Utah in the fall, but what I am getting to is what my parents got me. They are going to pay for me to become scuba certified. I know I should be really excited about this--after all, I was asking to do it over and over last year and was very jealous when the scouts did it--but it has brought to surface a lot of conflicted emotions. I guess if I hadn't been so set on working with marine animals at one point it wouldn't be such an issue, but somehow it feels like by doing this I am feeding that part of me that still wants to and when it doesn't happen it's just going to be the same frustration and disappointment all over again. Do you follow what I'm saying? One of my very significant motivations in getting scuba certified is this internship I've had my eye on in awhile...it involves marine mammal care and I want to do it so badly! But pursuing a field I know does not have a place in my future to that extent seems not only frivolous, but detrimental to my chosen one. Which isn't my first choice, but it's what I'm stuck with. Sometimes reality gets in the way of fantasies. Anyway, I think I'm going to do it. But I can't help but feel like I have too many hobbies that are too expensive and time consuming to maintain for long...I just don't know if I can make myself give any up.
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| Not the greatest picture I know, but it's what I've got. I love it so much! This one I know I will keep doing--it's currently my minor. I just don't feel like I have enough time to do everything justice. |
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| Don't judge the awkward years =P. This is my sisters and I with my love Sonny. We were working at a riding camp (except Kara--she was a camper). |
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| My seventh grade self doing what I was pretty bent on making of my life at the time. It's not. But let me tell you, if it could be...it would happen. | | | |
To be honest there are several more things that I really, really love and I just know I can't do everything...someone help please! >_<
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